Back to the front... Back to the front...  

Welcome to my Fortress of Geektitude

All the news you can snooze... er... use...
You are Here
Back to the front...

You asked for it; this is what I think...

02-25-04 Wednesday night TV (Enterprise, West Wing, Smallville and Angel

Smallville was fairly standard for this season actually... tied in well with the current story arc (which puts it well above '2 lame, 2 far-fetched' from two weeks ago (and ties directly to last week)

Extended spoiler/review for “Resurrection” below:

Garrets' brother Vince (who uses kryptonite-laced dynamite - you know, to make SUPER-explosives; my grandma had a fantastic recipe she called kryptonite-laced chicken soup... it was SUPER - you know, because it was laced with the green-rock just lying around F#CKING everywhere...)

Anyway, let's try that again. I don't remember Garret or Vince, but the older brother (Vince) develops a fast-acting, death-inducing liver condition and is rushed into the hospital. Clark is also in the hospital for his fathers super-secret triple bypass surgery. Vince dies. Clever doctor spends 30 seconds on CPR and then types a note into his palm pilot saying the package is ready for delivery. Dead-boy-2 (Vince not Adam) is flown to secret Luthor lab where he is injected with non-glowing version of Adam-serum (SUPER-serum) and wakes up, pinks up to the Korean doctors clever "Welcome back."


Garret, Vince's younger brother and only family besides an Uncle in Germany (I don't know either), is asked where he'd like his brothers ashes sent to. But wait, that can't be right, he was supposed to be buried next to mom and dad. *rage on - not SUPER-rage though* It seems his brother, who tells him EVERYTHING, changed his mind last minute and wanted to become a test-subject... er, I mean donor and then be resurrected... er, I mean cremated. Of course the documents could have been forged to cover up the trail to the 'sekrit' lab with signs that say "Sekrit lab not this way." Doctors are always smart on Smallville, especially sekrit doctors...

Anyway, surprise of surprises, Clark finds the medivac pilot who took the body to Metropolis hospital for Organ harvesting (*wink-wink*) and in two seconds of talking gets him to admit to several felonies ("They paid cash... I don't ask questions" - "Here's a dollar, swallow this grenade" - "Well, you did pay cash" *gulp*). Helicopter takes him to the "Sekrit Lab" (where you swear there has to be a sign somewhere with that written on it). Meanwhile Lex and Chloe had already discovered the true nature of a Luthor-owned property that was a liability and loss where something shady was happening. So non of us are surprised to find Lex trying to black-mail/sway the hot, Korean doctor away from daddy and into his clutches (a young Luthor should have his own clutches to have people in before long, gotta start somewhere). While none of us are surprised, Clarks sure is.

The second the copter lifts off the roof his super-hearing kicks in and we here Lex and Doc talking about the mysterious serum that has no connection to Adam save for the shape of the serum container (which looks fairly standard to me - I mean come on, Adam's super-juice was glowy because it was made from super-blood... this stuff is clear), but is regardless linked to Adam and the revival of Vince. Oh that's right, Vince came back to life in the lab and escaped in short enough order that he was able to reach the Kent farm to pick up his brother (doesn't EVERYONE wind up there eventually?). "Oh, yeah... I'm not dead or cremated - Ouch" *eyes started bleeding* Vince-the-previously-dead-and-then-cremated is rushed to the hospital again, but we'll have no formal questions about this is RE-admitted to the hospital all before Clark goes looking for the sekrit lab and the super-serum.

Clark gets his mad-on because is friend (and someday arch-rival) is again connected to having his blood (the super-serum) and proves to the world at large that the Flash is a molasses-fueled pussy-foot. He nabs the serum away from them both (from the roof to the lab and out in under a 30th of a second and a not big enough gust of wind. Doc says, "What did you just do with the serum I told you you couldn't have - your magick is strong, I now work for you and not your dad. Let me show you where I'm keeping Adam" or something along those lines.

Super-boy gets to the hospital where, Garret has taken over the whole hospital with a (you guessed it) SUPER-green-rock-bomb strapped to his chest. Insert the short-version of John Q. Clark finds sheriff-who-looks-like-Reba and helps the police by delivering the serum to Garret. "Naw, we don't needs ta know notin' Mr. Kent... you just take your sekrit drug juice up der to dat nice already dead-boy and save the hospital." Clark tells Garret to release the hostages or they won't let him up. Sheriff-who-looks-like-Reba wants Clark because he's clever. Clark is warned by mom about the super-bomb as mom comes down with the rest of the hostages - by the way, dad's in the middle of surgery; oh the tension.

Clark finds Garret (who's been holding this button forever, but the green-rocks must have given him super-Nintendo-fingers 'cause he never lets us see him sweat it). Clark says "I've got the serum from the sekrit lab." Garret says "Give it to me." Clark puts it on the floor because "you have a bomb strapped to your chest." Garret thinks that's weird. I think Garret thinking that is weird - unless you know Clark is bomb-proof which no one (*wink-wink*) does. Garret wearing the green-rock-bomb picks up the serum and when he draws it closer to him it begins to bubble and churn and change color. /GASP - just like Clark's blood! Garret sagely asks "Is it supposed to do that?" Clark wisely (though shocked by his internal revelation) responds "dunno..." Garret orders a doctor to stab his brother in the chest with a large syringe filled with the already bubbled super-serum (stupid green-rocks). Doctor of course follows orders and stabs brother in the chest with a big needle. Nothing happens. Garret gets his mad-on and orders doctor to give his brother a new liver. Doctor protests "we have none." Remember though, in this remake of John Q we already have a donor upstairs in the operating room, Pa Kent. Doctor looks shocked, but ready to comply. Clarks tries to protest, but remembers Garret’s wearing a green-bomb so instead tries to reason - which is not, as we all understand by now, Clark's strong suit in this incarnation of the Superman lore. Supes says something along the lines of "You don't want to do this." Garret says "I like you Kent's but this is the only choice I have to keep my strangely resurrected brother alive (again)."

Meanwhile sheriff-who-looks-like-Reba, had ordered a sniper to find a vantage point and take the shot, because that Kent boy is flakier than a French dessert.

*Sniper takes shot*

*Super-Nintendo-thumbed-boy releases trigger*

Clark steps up in a repeat performance of the Flash is a second-string loser who runs slower than my Grandma and adds a little "the Matrix is for pussies" flair to his bullet-time this week. In the 1/30th of a second this time Clark races to radiology and for the second time in his young life uses a lead shield to protect himself from green-stuff. Grabs the bomb, races out of the hospital throwing the bomb into misc_structure_01 and then allows time to resume (this all ties into to the original Superman movie nicely). Luckily no-one asks where that Kent boy went or how the bomb got outside after the sniper killed the boy.


The next morning Pa Kent gets to go home from his triple bypass surgery, of course (must have had some green-rock-medicine). Lana and Clark pledge to have no more secrets. Then Lana and Clark lie to one another again.

The End.

Epilogue: WTF doesn’t Clark weave some lead into his clothes and learn that EVERYONE in the whole of Smallville knows about and uses the glowy-green-rocks that make everything SUPER?

EDIT: got a piece of green-glowy rock and did a SUPER-spell-check and even did some SUPER-grammar corrections.

West Wing surprising and good... well-written would best summise it (so average for last year and exceptional this year)

Enterprise (missed it due to this having been an atypical Wednesday)

Angel is again what it once was. I just can't believe that there aren't more people that watch it. I am happy to predict that the series will go out strong though, which is MUCH better than running for 3 years on empty and fizzling the finale. So there is that for a silver-lining.


DISCLAIMER: This site is intended in no way, shape or form to offend or mock any one particular person or group of specific people (by race, age, sex, etc - exception: I will frequently mock the crass, rude and stupid... if this offends you then either your skin is far too thin or you fall into one of the aforementioned categories); while it may offend no one, it may offend everyone. It's sole purpose, however, is to entertain me. Should it entertain you as well then I'll feel a deep warm tingly sensation, but it won't last long and generally I just ignore it anyway, so chances are I will not even know that you have enjoyed this site. Designed to be viewed fullscreen at 800x600 resolution or greater, so if it looks wierd - I blame you.  

 -= DensityMan =-