Garrets' brother Vince
(who uses kryptonite-laced dynamite - you know, to make SUPER-explosives;
my grandma had a fantastic recipe she called kryptonite-laced
chicken soup... it was SUPER - you know, because it was laced
with the green-rock just lying around F#CKING everywhere...)
Anyway, let's try that
again. I don't remember Garret or Vince, but the older brother
(Vince) develops a fast-acting, death-inducing liver condition
and is rushed into the hospital. Clark is also in the hospital
for his fathers super-secret triple bypass surgery. Vince dies.
Clever doctor spends 30 seconds on CPR and then types a note into
his palm pilot saying the package is ready for delivery. Dead-boy-2
(Vince not Adam) is flown to secret Luthor lab where he is injected
with non-glowing version of Adam-serum (SUPER-serum) and wakes
up, pinks up to the Korean doctors clever "Welcome back."
Garret, Vince's younger
brother and only family besides an Uncle in Germany (I don't know
either), is asked where he'd like his brothers ashes sent to.
But wait, that can't be right, he was supposed to be buried next
to mom and dad. *rage on - not SUPER-rage though* It seems his
brother, who tells him EVERYTHING, changed his mind last minute
and wanted to become a test-subject... er, I mean donor and then
be resurrected... er, I mean cremated. Of course the documents
could have been forged to cover up the trail to the 'sekrit' lab
with signs that say "Sekrit lab not this way." Doctors
are always smart on Smallville, especially sekrit doctors...
Anyway, surprise of
surprises, Clark finds the medivac pilot who took the body to
Metropolis hospital for Organ harvesting (*wink-wink*) and in
two seconds of talking gets him to admit to several felonies ("They
paid cash... I don't ask questions" - "Here's a dollar,
swallow this grenade" - "Well, you did pay cash"
*gulp*). Helicopter takes him to the "Sekrit Lab" (where
you swear there has to be a sign somewhere with that written on
it). Meanwhile Lex and Chloe had already discovered the true nature
of a Luthor-owned property that was a liability and loss where
something shady was happening. So non of us are surprised to find
Lex trying to black-mail/sway the hot, Korean doctor away from
daddy and into his clutches (a young Luthor should have his own
clutches to have people in before long, gotta start somewhere).
While none of us are surprised, Clarks sure is.
The second the copter
lifts off the roof his super-hearing kicks in and we here Lex
and Doc talking about the mysterious serum that has no connection
to Adam save for the shape of the serum container (which looks
fairly standard to me - I mean come on, Adam's super-juice was
glowy because it was made from super-blood... this stuff is clear),
but is regardless linked to Adam and the revival of Vince. Oh
that's right, Vince came back to life in the lab and escaped in
short enough order that he was able to reach the Kent farm to
pick up his brother (doesn't EVERYONE wind up there eventually?).
"Oh, yeah... I'm not dead or cremated - Ouch" *eyes
started bleeding* Vince-the-previously-dead-and-then-cremated
is rushed to the hospital again, but we'll have no formal questions
about this is RE-admitted to the hospital all before Clark goes
looking for the sekrit lab and the super-serum.
Clark gets his mad-on
because is friend (and someday arch-rival) is again connected
to having his blood (the super-serum) and proves to the world
at large that the Flash is a molasses-fueled pussy-foot. He nabs
the serum away from them both (from the roof to the lab and out
in under a 30th of a second and a not big enough gust of wind.
Doc says, "What did you just do with the serum I told you
you couldn't have - your magick is strong, I now work for you
and not your dad. Let me show you where I'm keeping Adam"
or something along those lines.
Super-boy gets to the
hospital where Denzel...er, Garret has taken over the whole hospital
with a (you guessed it) SUPER-green-rock-bomb strapped to his
chest. Insert the short-version of John Q. Clark finds sheriff-who-looks-like-Reba
and helps the police by delivering the serum to Garret. "Naw,
we don't needs ta know notin' Mr. Kent... you just take your sekrit
drug juice up der to dat nice already dead-boy and save the hospital."
Clark tells Garret to release the hostages or they won't let him
up. Sheriff-who-looks-like-Reba wants Clark because he's clever.
Clark is warned by mom about the super-bomb as mom comes down
with the rest of the hostages - by the way, dad's in the middle
of surgery; oh the tension.
Clark finds Garret
(who's been holding this button forever, but the green-rocks must
have given him super-Nintendo-fingers 'cause he never lets us
see him sweat it). Clark says "I've got the serum from the
sekrit lab." Garret says "Give it to me." Clark
puts it on the floor because "you have a bomb strapped to
your chest." Garret thinks that's weird. I think Garret thinking
that is weird - unless you know Clark is bomb-proof which no one
(*wink-wink*) does. Garret wearing the green-rock-bomb picks up
the serum and when he draws it closer to him it begins to bubble
and churn and change color. /GASP - just like Clark's blood! Garret
sagely asks "Is it supposed to do that?" Clark wisely
(though shocked by his internal revelation) responds "dunno..."
Garret orders a doctor to stab his brother in the chest with a
large syringe filled with the already bubbled super-serum (stupid
green-rocks). Doctor of course follows orders and stabs brother
in the chest with a big needle. Nothing happens. Garret gets his
mad-on and orders doctor to give his brother a new liver. Doctor
protests "we have none." Remember though, in this remake
of John Q we already have a donor upstairs in the operating room,
Pa Kent. Doctor looks shocked, but ready to comply. Clarks tries
to protest, but remembers Garret’s wearing a green-bomb
so instead tries to reason - which is not, as we all understand
by now, Clark's strong suit in this incarnation of the Superman
lore. Supes says something along the lines of "You don't
want to do this." Garret says "I like you Kent's but
this is the only choice I have to keep my strangely resurrected
brother alive (again)."
had ordered a sniper to find a vantage point and take the shot,
because that Kent boy is flakier than a French dessert.
*Sniper takes shot*
Clark steps up in a
repeat performance of the Flash is a second-string loser who runs
slower than my Grandma and adds a little "the Matrix is for
pussies" flair to his bullet-time this week. In the 1/30th
of a second this time Clark races to radiology and for the second
time in his young life uses a lead shield to protect himself from
green-stuff. Grabs the bomb, races out of the hospital throwing
the bomb into misc_structure_01 and then allows time to resume
(this all ties into to the original Superman movie nicely). Luckily
no-one asks where that Kent boy went or how the bomb got outside
after the sniper killed the boy.
The next morning Pa
Kent gets to go home from his triple bypass surgery, of course
(must have had some green-rock-medicine). Lana and Clark pledge
to have no more secrets. Then Lana and Clark lie to one another
Epilogue: WTF doesn’t Clark weave some lead into his clothes
and learn that EVERYONE in the whole of Smallville knows about
and uses the glowy-green-rocks that make everything SUPER?